Scams are more sophisticated than ever and many are designed to target people who are financially responsible, trusting and open to connection. You may know to avoid suspicious phone calls or phishing emails, but there’s another type of fraud that can be hard to spot and both emotionally and financially damaging: the romance scam.

How Romance Scams Typically Work

It usually starts with a friendly message—on a dating app, social media, or even a game. The person seems genuine and interested. They ask thoughtful questions and quickly build rapport. Often, they claim to be working abroad, in the military, or tied up in overseas business.

The relationship may feel real, but the goal is financial: after a few weeks or months of building trust, they present a crisis, whether a medical emergency, legal issue, helping a family member or a business deal that’s temporarily stuck. They don’t ask for a fortune, just a little help. And they promise to pay you back.

But they don’t. And if you send money once, the requests usually continue.

Financial Red Flags to Watch For

These schemes are designed to catch smart and caring people off guard. Stay alert for these warning signs:

• Requests to send money, even small amounts, especially for emergencies.
• Stories that involve international travel, inheritances, or frozen accounts.
• Requests to open a new bank account or move money on their behalf.
• Pressure to keep the relationship private or avoid talking to family or advisors.
• Avoidance of video chats, phone calls, or in-person meetings.

Real Stories of Romance Scams

Read through these real-life stories of non-clients with fictional names to see how easily someone can be drawn into a scam and the financial red flags that are often overlooked in the moment. By recognizing the red flags, you can protect yourself and your loved ones.

Alicia’s Story: The Overseas Contractor
After retiring, Alicia joined an online book club and connected with a fellow member who shared her love for classic literature. Over the next two months, their chats turned romantic. The man claimed to be a contractor working overseas in Turkey, and soon after, he told Alicia he had run into a customs issue and couldn’t access his funds. He asked if she could wire $3,000 to help release his equipment so he could come home. Alicia sent the money—but he never showed up, and she never heard from him again.

Red Flag: An unforeseen financial problem involving international travel and an urgent need for funds.

Tom’s Story: The Secret Relationship
Tom, a widower in his 60s, met someone through a social media site who said she was living in Canada but working temporarily in Dubai. Their messages quickly became romantic, but she insisted he not tell his children or friends about her. After weeks of daily conversations, she told him her hotel bill hadn’t been paid by her employer and she was being threatened with arrest. Tom wired her $1,500. Within days, she asked for more—and Tom realized he had been scammed.

Red Flag: Pressure to keep the relationship secret and avoid outside input.

Renee’s Story: A Favor Gone Too Far
Renee met someone on a mobile game who asked her to help move money for a business deal. He said he couldn’t use his account because of foreign banking restrictions. He asked her to open a new bank account and transfer funds on his behalf. After a few transactions, her bank froze her account and flagged it for fraud. Renee had unknowingly become part of a money laundering scheme.

Red Flag: Requests to open a bank account or transfer money on behalf of someone you haven’t met in person.

Financial Safety Tips for Online Relationships

Even if you’re not actively dating online, these tips can help you protect your financial health in a digital world:

• Treat your financial information like you would your Social Security number.Never share account numbers, login credentials, or financial documents with someone you’ve only met online.
• Set up alerts on your bank and credit card accounts. Many banks let you receive text or email alerts for unusual activity or large transactions.
• Don’t wire money, use gift cards or payment apps, to send funds to anyone you haven’t met in person. These payment methods are difficult to trace and nearly impossible to recover.
• Keep your financial team in the loop. Your financial planner or tax professional is a great resource! Let them know if someone asks you to send money or make unusual transfers. A second set of eyes can make all the difference.
• Review your estate documents and powers of attorney. If someone is pressuring you to make them a beneficiary or give them legal access to your finances, that’s a major red flag.

The Bottom Line

Staying open to new relationships is part of a full, connected life—but it should never put your financial or emotional safety at risk. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Your gut is often your best defense. Reach out to your financial planner or another close adviser to talk things over.   

Advisory services offered through Johnson Bixby, an SEC Registered Investment Advisor. Securities offered by Registered Representatives through Private Client Services. Member FINRA/SIPC. Johnson Bixby and PCS are separate and unaffiliated.