About 1 in 5 people over age 60 have married at least twice, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Getting married later in life raises a host of unique financial considerations, and they’re not only about money. Here are some things to ask yourselves before you tie the knot.

Unlike those just starting out in life, many older individuals have adult children, substantial assets, and established financial habits that may not easily mesh with those of another person. So, our primary guidance for older couples isn’t so much about dollars and cents but rather how each person approaches money and how to head off any potential conflicts.

For those who are walking down the aisle later in life, ask the following questions:

Question #1. Where do your financial values overlap—and where do they diverge?

Communication is a barometer for a successful union, especially where your finances are concerned. In fact, in a recent Forbes Advisor survey of 1,000 individuals who are divorced or in the process of divorcing, nearly one-fourth reported financial concerns as a factor.

It’s common for people to become defensive or emotional when talking about money. And often, the topic can feel personal because of factors such as our family histories, past successes and failures, and even feelings of self-worth.

That said, if you can overcome the discomfort and create an open dialogue with your partner about your finances and priorities, you can begin to identify commonalities and differences. By gaining insight into one another’s beliefs, you can work through challenges and come to a place of mutual understanding and respect.

Question #2. How will you (or won’t you) combine your finances?

Anyone entering a relationship must grapple with how their partner manages money. But an additional wrinkle with mature marriages is that each of you may have amassed significant assets and managed your money independently for years.

This can make merging finances particularly complex, so couples should start with the most basic question: How will we combine our assets—if at all?

Many people find that a ‘yours, mine, and ours’ approach works best. To do this, each spouse maintains their individual investment, retirement, and bank accounts, and then each also makes contributions to a joint account for shared costs such as mortgage payments, entertainment, and other day-to-day expenses.

The system can be a good starting point for discussing how much each spouse should contribute to the household, especially if one is significantly wealthier than the other. It also gives you the latitude to engage in your own spending habits without causing marital strife and to fund individual goals, such as making gifts to adult children.

You also may want to discuss your respective income and estate plans, credit scores, insurance policies (including life and long-term care, where applicable), outstanding liabilities, and philanthropic commitments. The key is to enter the marriage with full knowledge of the other’s financial situation, habits and goals.

Question #3. How will marriage affect your retirement plans and taxes?

If either or both of you are still employed and saving for your later years, ask yourselves whether getting married could change your retirement timeline. For example, if you have more than five years’ difference between your ages, will the younger of you work to full retirement age or would you prefer to retire around the same time?

It’s also critical to examine how each of you would like to spend your retirement years—traveling, volunteering, taking care of grandchildren, moving closer to family—and work through any disparities. Don’t assume you are on the same page!

Also consider how marriage could affect your sources of retirement income, such as Social Security, pensions, or alimony. It’s important to know if one of you is eligible for a greater survivor benefit, or if you would possibly lose certain benefits by formalizing your union.

Taxes are another piece of the retirement-income puzzle that shouldn’t be overlooked. If both of you have accumulated significant tax-deferred retirement assets, your combined required minimum distributions could push you into a higher tax bracket and increase your Medicare premiums. If you have more savings than you’ll need and are worried about taxes, you may want to incorporate gifting and charitable strategies into your shared plan before and during retirement.

Question #4. How will you plan for illness or incapacity?

Communication around how you want your health and finances to be handled is especially important as you age. Be sure to discuss with your partner how each of you would like to deal with your affairs in the event of illness or incapacity, including the extent to which you’d like other family members involved.

No matter how much you love and respect your new partner, adult children may feel entitled to have a say in your medical treatment plan or other critical decisions. Having a frank discussion with all parties is a start, but legally documenting the details is even more important. Toward that end, make sure you have:

• A living will: Also referred to as an advance directive, this outlines your preferences regarding medical intervention and end-of-life care.
• A health care proxy: Sometimes called a medical power of attorney (POA), this gives your designated proxy the authority to make medical decisions in any situations not covered by a living will.
• A financial POA: This delegates control over any financial matters you specify, such as paying bills, making gifts, or managing property. Without a financial POA, a court may need to appoint a conservator to manage anything you don’t own jointly with your spouse.

Beyond planning for declining health from a legal perspective, also discuss how you’ll navigate any long-term care needs that may arise as you age. We’re all likely to need help with activities of daily living at some point in our lives, so talk through your preferences—do you intend to care for each other, involve adult children, or employ outside help? Ongoing care is a high-stress, emotional undertaking—and you could even reach a point when neither of you is able to care for the other—so you should be realistic about what each of you is willing and able to commit to.

Above all, be sure to finalize your plans as early in the marriage as possible. Most of us tend to have an optimistic view of the future and may avoid thinking about the possibility of our own incapacity, never mind our own mortality. But it’s important to make decisions about these eventualities as a couple, especially while you’re still healthy, and to communicate them to your families.

Question #5. Who will inherit your assets?

Whenever you experience any major life change, you should review your estate plan. This means updating not only your will and trust documents but also your beneficiary designations and titling of certain assets (such as a primary or vacation home).

If you have kids from a previous relationship, the question of which assets pass to your spouse and which pass to your children can be fraught. Having honest conversations with your partner about how best to provide for your individual heirs and each other can help you anticipate the expectations or concerns of family members.

No matter your asset level or complexity of planning needs, it’s smart to talk to an experienced estate planning attorney to help you anticipate potential issues. The last thing you want is for your estate plans to create unnecessary conflict after you’re gone.

Coming together

Joining personal and financial histories that span decades can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to lead to conflict. The more transparent you can be with each other about your individual needs and expectations, the more successful the union is likely to be.

Reach out if you’d like to know more about how one of our financial planners can help you think through a shared retirement vision and strategize the best way to achieve your goals while maintaining a state of monetized marital bliss.